Youth sports have become extremely time consuming, placing extraordinary demands on the organizational abilities of parents, especially if they work outside the home.
Surveys show that fully nine out of ten parents attend their children’s games or performances once or more a week; six out of ten shuttle their children to and from games and practices three or more times a week; practices and games consume, on average, between 6 to 16 hours per week of a parent’s time.
Such time demands place an enormous strain on the ability of sports parents, particularly moms, to multi-task, with the role of sports parent described in one recent newspaper article as akin to “juggling the roles of air-traffic controller, pilot and flight crew all at once.” For the millions of mothers who take on the added responsibilities of “team mom [1]” these time, money and logistical challenges become even more daunting.
At no other time since the dawn of civilization have parents needed to choreograph their lives to the split second like the way they do today. We try to keep track of our busy lives, and those of our kids, by any and all means possible: Desk calendars, smart-phones, Blackberries, 16 by 20 wall calendars, sticky notes, three-ring binders, and computers. Just getting our kids to all their activities can be exhausting to think about, unless you learn how to organize, prioritize and plan ahead.
When you stop to think about it, it's amazing how many different hats a youth sports mom wears:
You have to pick a sport and a program best suited to your child, set realistic expectations about what your child can achieve through sports, be there for your child in good times and bad [5], model good sportsmanship [6], and use the youth sports experience to teach life skills, lessons and values that will help your child grow up into a self-confident, independent, well-adjusted adult while avoiding the trap too many parents fall into of becoming an over-involved [7], out-of control parent.
As a parent of a child participating in sports you need to be prepared and willing to adjust the family schedule to meet the needs of your child's athletic schedule. You need to be prepared to give up some of your Saturdays and Sundays, and expect that, as a child gets older and moves up the competitive ladder in his or her sport, even three-day holiday weekends (especially three day weekends), and school vacations may end up getting swallowed up by tournaments, clinics, private lessons etc.
The problem is, of course, more challenging for families with two or more children, each playing a different sport, in a different league, on a different day, at a different time and place. Parents with several children often find that taking their children to lessons or practices is a full-time job. Single or divorced parents have an even bigger challenge.
To keep from going crazy and becoming a burned-out parent (yes, parents can burn out, too), the first key is organization.
But before I list twenty ways to stay organized, what does being organized really mean? Here a short quiz to find out if you are organized:
If you answered "no" to any of these questions, if you are often late getting your child to games or practices, if you have to search up and down and all around the house for the directions to the game, or your car keys, or wallet, if you end up exclaiming, "Finally!" when you find it, or if you need another mom hanging, it's time to admit you aren't as organized as you could be, and could use some help.
Here are some tips for staying organized - and saving time - to keep from becoming overwhelmed when your child is playing sports:
1. Plan Ahead
2. Use the power of the Internet. You can use the Internet to do such things as research and buy sports equipment, get directions to away games and tournaments, confirm schedules, book hotels and make airplane reservations. If the team on which your child plays has a website, be sure that you have it bookmarked so you don't have to waste time trying to find the URL via Google or another search engine.
3. Use e-mail. More and more youth sports organizations use e-mail to keep parents informed of practice schedules, game times, sign-up dates, forms due, tournament dates, directions to games etc. (be sure to print out directions no later than the night before an away game; you don't want to leave it to the last minute). E-mail is also a great way to communicate with other parents and the coach.
4. Use three-ring binders. Put information about each child's activities into a three-ring binder, with a section for each child, and keep it updated with schedules for sports, music lessons, Scouts, notices about school activities, team rosters, and phone numbers etc.
5. Keep a good calendar.
6. Use cell phones. With all the "family plans" offered by cell phone companies, equipping your kids with cell phones is a must for busy families on the go. Some cell phone companies are now offering a plan where you can get cell phones for your younger children with up to four pre-programmed numbers and a button to push in case of emergencies. If your child can get rides back from games and practices and calls to let you know, a lot of time (and expensive gas) can be saved.
7. Hold a weekly family planning meeting. Once a week, hold a family meeting to review what happened - good and bad - in the week just ended; and what is coming up in the week ahead. That way everyone in the family knows what everyone else is up to, priorities can be set, and scheduling conflicts identified (it is amazing how many families get stressed out because they ignore the basic fact that we cannot be in two places at the same time!). If you can't find time to schedule a meeting at home, hold one whenever the entire family is together, such as in restaurant over coffee, cookies and cocoa.
8. Teach your kids to stay organized and manage their own schedule. As your kids get older, they can shoulder more and more of the responsibility of keeping track of their own calendar and reminding you when you need to drive them to practice or to a game.
9. Keep track of everything
10. Get help with the laundry. Make it your child's job to put her dirty uniform in the laundry room or the hamper. You shouldn't have to go rummaging around in his room to find the uniform under a sea of dirty clothes (teenagers really hate you going into their room when they aren't there; come to think of it, they don't like you coming in even when they are there). To avoid the hassle of trying to get your child's uniform washed and dried in time for the next practice or game, it may be worth the extra money to buy an extra uniform. Remember that the laundry isn't done until the uniform, jockstrap/sports bra and socks are back in the drawer, closet or sports bag where your son or daughter can find them.
11. Extra, extra, extra. Keep a large plastic box in the trunk of your car or mini-van containing the following:
13. Keep coolers in the car. Keep two coolers in car: one big, one small. The large one (with wheels) can double as an extra seat; keep ice packs in ziplock bags or buy a supply of the chemical ice packs [11].
14. Do an equipment "sweep" after games. Do a sweep of the area around the bench or dugout for your son's or daughter's equipment before leaving a practice or game.
15. Join a carpool. [12] Other parents are running in the same direction as you, so offer to pick up their kid for practice if they'll bring yours home afterwards.
16. Call for backup. When you can't get to a game, ask family and friends to fill in for you.
17. Multi-task. It is amazing how much time you will end up spending at your child's games and practices (between 6 and 16 hours per week, according to one study), especially away games and tournaments, doing not much but sitting or standing around, usually talking with other parents who also have nothing to do. Fill the time by getting other things done.
Keep a list of small tasks you can accomplish during the downtime, such as:
18. Pre-cooked meals. On busy days, put supper in a crock pot in the morning before work; or keep quick meals in the freezer; don't feel guilty if supper is frozen pizza or scrambled eggs; kids love occasional sub-standard meals.
19. Packing. Don't wait until the last minute to pack to go away for an overnight trip to a tournament. Work from a packing list. This way you avoid over-packing because you don't know what to take or forgetting something important and have to waste time and money replacing it in an unfamiliar town.
20. Chaperones. Make sure that your child's team follows the "two adult rule" [13] on road trips.
Adapted from the book, Home Team Advantage: The Critical Role of Mothers in Youth Sports, by MomsTeam.com Editor-in-Chief, Brooke de Lench.
Created January 15, 2010, updated August 20, 2012
Links:
[1] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/1581
[2] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/938
[3] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/2483
[4] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/785
[5] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/479
[6] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/717
[7] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/472
[8] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/1232
[9] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/881
[10] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/2895
[11] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/289
[12] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/713
[13] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/2034
[14] https://mail.momsteam.com/health-safety/first-aid-kit-in-car-and-medicine-cabinet-must-for-sports-families
[15] https://mail.momsteam.com/successful-parenting/car-pools-tips-and-tricks
[16] https://mail.momsteam.com/successful-parenting/youth-sports-survival-tips-make-lists-keep-calendar