Cats and dogs. Oil and water. Parents and youth sports officials. Some things just don't mix.
Parents and officials never seem to be on the same page. There always seems to be some tension between them. It often seems to parents that the person officiating must be seeing a different game than they are. Every call seems to go against their child's team.
Go to just about any youth sports contest and you are bound to hear parents make comments about the official like the following:
"Hey, ref, you must be blind!"
"Hey, ref. You want to borrow my glasses?"
"Ref, are you going out drinking with the other coach after this game?"
And when their child's team has lost the game, you will often hear this comment:
"It is the ref''s fault we lost the game. If he hadn't made that call, we would have won the game."
A cynic would say that refs and parents are the necessary evils of youth sports. Refs are necessary to make sure that one side goes away from the contest feeling their team was cheated, and parents are necessary to provide the players and transport them to and from the game.
But before you jump to agree with this characterization, keep in mind the following:
The general rule is the higher the level of competitive play, the more likely the officials are trained and paid and a member of an official's organization. But, whatever the level, remember that officials:
Some youth sports, like soccer, often employ young people as referees. They are usually players who have been trained to ref games of younger players. In soccer, the general rule is the ref needs to be at least two years older (preferably more) than the players.
Using youth refs has lots of advantages. It:
Unfortunately, parents are driving new referees out of the game in increasing numbers. This is bad for the game and for the kids who have had their self-esteem battered by abusive parents. The percentage of those who are trained and drop out of officiating [1] within one year is staggering.
Young refs will often officiate at games of 8 and 10 year olds. Parents of children this age can be particularly merciless on the refs. All too often, they lose perspective on why their child is out there. They will yell and scream at every call.
The problem is often made worse by parents who do not know the rules specific to the age group of the children playing. For example:
It is sad when the parent's own ignorance of the rules drives them to abuse the young official.
Too often, the parent on the sideline believes that if they attack the character of the referee, the referee will start to call the game for the people who are abusing him. In all of my contact with officials, whether at speaking engagements or in watching them officiate, I have yet to meet a ref who has changed a call because he was emotionally abused by a parent or coach.
Indeed, quite the opposite is true: the natural tendency of a ref is to make the call for the less abusive team when the call could go either way. If the abusive parent is trying to influence the ref to make calls for their team they have chosen the wrong way of doing it.
The only situation, in my experience, where the abusive strategy works is when the official (oftentimes a young one) becomes intimidated. An intimidated ref is even less likely to call a good game because he or she is afraid of making a mistake. An intimidated ref is likely to not make good calls and the bad taste the experience leaves is very likely to drive him or her from the game, if not the next game, then the one after that, or at the end of the season.
Links:
[1] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/723
[2] https://mail.momsteam.com/node/1447
[3] http://www.winnipegsun.com/news/columnists/tom_brodbeck/2011/03/05/17511161.html
[4] https://mail.momsteam.com/team-experts/recruiting-officials-your-child’s-youth-league
[5] https://mail.momsteam.com/team-of-experts/an-open-letter-to-youth-sports-officials
[6] https://mail.momsteam.com/sports-officials-not-so-black-white-says-mom-turned-basketball-referee