Basics

Ask kids about what they want to get out of sports, and the vast majority will say competitive games in which everyone plays and has fun. Given a choice between fun and winning, most would say having fun. They would rather play on a losing team than sit on the bench of a winning team.

The explosion of highly competitive sports programs for kids under twelve (e.g. travel soccer, hockey, etc.) would have you believe that your preteen is ready, indeed eager for intense competition.  They aren't.

While the benefits of sports participation are well known, less publicized are the downsides of such participation. A study by researchers at Pennsylvania State University published in the October 2007 issue of American Sociological Review suggests that athletes who participate in contact-heavy team sports, such as football, are more likely to commit violence off the field.

It is critically important that you and your child have realistic expectations about his or her development as an athlete and that you don't confuse your expectations and desires with those of your child. Parents who complain that their child has quit a sport too early may be doing so because he isn't doing what they want him to do.

Have you ever watched the Little League World Series on television? Ever notice how the players on the teams are almost always much bigger and stronger than the average twelve-year-old and look more like sixteen-year-olds?

Some children are early bloomers who enjoy success in sports because they develop faster, not because they have more raw talent. Late bloomers develop more slowly, but may be more gifted athletes. There are advantages and disadvantages for both.