Team of Experts

Every sport has its rituals and culture. Wrestling is no different. The focus is, and always has been, on the weight of the athlete. Because athletes are grouped by weight, each team and coach decides which athlete fits best in a weight class. This should be no problem, except that the weight of young wrestlers fluctuates considerably, which may make it difficult to maintain a weight class throughout the season.

Parents face the danger of being caught in the intensity web even in individual sports such as golf and tennis. The problem is not so much being on the sidelines during competition but the way they interact with their child leading up to the beginning of a major tournament.

According to a 1999 National Institute of Drug Abuse survey, steroid use among students is now at its highest point in a decade, with an estimated 479,000 students nationwide, or 2.9 percent, having used the drug by their senior year of high school.

Ever see a picture in your local paper of a summer "all-star" baseball team of 10 and 11 year olds and find it odd that nearly every kid in the picture is either the son or daughter of one of the coaches or of one of the coaches of a team during the regular season or the best friend of the coaches kid?

The following examples shows how parents can get caught up in their children's soccer game and lose focus, dramatically increasing the chances that they will act in ways that do not reflect their values.

Too often, the problem in youth sports is not crazy, out-of-control parents, but the fact that we put children in very competitive situations at too young an age. I often get asked, "When will my child be old enough to compete?" I like to ask parents to re-cast the question as: "When will you be comfortable with allowing your child to be tackled, tripped, yelled at, cheated or left out?" All these things can and will happen in competitive sports. They are part of the game. Your child is old enough when you, as a parent, can handle the stress seeing your child compete puts on you.

There are three things parents can do to make their child's introduction to youth sports a positive experience:(1) look for a program that emphasizes skill development over winning; (2) look for sports activities your child will enjoy; and (3) ask whether your under-12 child needs to participate in competitive sports at all.

It is no easy task to be a parent of a young athlete. Hard enough are the tasks of helping the child learn how to handle the ups and downs of competition. But perhaps most challenging are the demands on your own coping skills - learning how to manage emotions that are repeatedly tested under trying conditions. A common problem is that your love of your child may lead you to behave in ways that ultimately hurt the child