If you feel like sports are taking too much of your and family's time and money, if your child is feeling stressed, it is time to restore some sanity by finding a better balance. Creating balance in child's life is important because, if you don't, you send your child the message that unstructured, un-pressured free time, fun for fun's sake and family time aren't important.
Here are some tips on finding balance.
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Have the courage to say no. Be honest with yourself and your children and, if you and/or your child are overextended, recognize the toll sports and other activities are taking on you and on your family instead of worrying that if you don't go the extra mile your kids will somehow suffer or will fall behind his peers. All too often kids seem to get the message from society and their parents that they can have it all. Setting priorities and understanding that you only have so many hours in the day and only so much money is something every child has to learn, sooner or later. It might as well be sooner. Sometimes the best thing a parent can do for a child is nothing.
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Balance sports and family life. Parents in the United States spend less time with their children than those in almost any nation on the planet. Set aside some family time. Research has shown that teenagers who eat dinner with their parents five times per week or more are the least likely to be on drugs, to be depressed, or in trouble with the law, and the most likely to be doing well in school and to have a supportive circle of friends. Set aside one night a week or month as Family Game Night, when you choose a board game, play card games, make tacos, and just be together. Make it sacred time. Before you allow your child to play a particular sport, or on a particular team, consider the amount of travel time to practices and games, your work schedule and your spouse's, your child's school schedule and homework demands, carpool availability, and the needs of other family members. Consider what you and your family will have to give up (Friday night pizza, family vacations, church on Sunday, etc) and whether those experiences are so important that you need to find time for them in your family's schedule. The irony is that weekends, the time families used to spend relaxing from the work/school week, are now filled to brim with sports activities. Try to set aside some time on the weekends to rest and recharge your batteries and those of your children for the week ahead.
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Set limits that fit your family. Find the level of sports and extracurricular participation that works for your child and your family. Take your cues from your child and trust your intuition. For some, one sport, one team per season may be right. Some children thrive on more intense involvement. Make sure that the limits that are set are ones that everyone in the family can agree on. Help your child learn to structure her own schedule and find personal balance between activities and downtime.
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Look for balanced sports programs. Look for leagues and clubs that balance sports, family, school and emphasize just having fun as much as winning. A child shouldn't be penalized for missing practice on Christmas Eve to be with his family.
