Shane Murphy, Ph.D.

An interesting and useful way of thinking about the development of the young athlete has been proposed by Jon Hellstedt. Because it is impossible to look at the development of the young athlete without also taking into account the changes experienced by the parents and siblings, Hellstedt looks at the development of the young athlete as an issue for the entire family.

It is no easy task to be a parent of a young athlete. Hard enough are the tasks of helping the child learn how to handle the ups and downs of competition. But perhaps most challenging are the demands on your own coping skills - learning how to manage emotions that are repeatedly tested under trying conditions.

There is a strong tendency in our society to view participation in sports in the most favorable light. Children are encouraged to participate in organized youth sports programs because they are thought to promote such fundamental values as character, teamwork, determination and commitment...

It seems that everyone is
ready to blame "out-of-control parents" for all the ills of youth
sports. We are the crazy ones screaming on the sidelines, abusing the
kids, yelling at the officials, and displaying poor sportsmanship.
What's a parent to do?
One piece of advice that is
handed out regularly to parents is to "set a good example" for our
children. Here are five things sports psychologist Shane Murphy says you can do
that will really show your children (and other parents) what being "a
good sport" is really all about.

Too often, the problem in youth sports is not crazy, out-of-control parents, but the fact that we put children in very competitive situations at too young an age. I often get asked, "When will my child be old enough to compete?" I like to ask parents to re-cast the question as: "When will you be comfortable with allowing your child to be tackled, tripped, yelled at, cheated or left out?" All these things can and will happen in competitive sports. They are part of the game. Your child is old enough when you, as a parent, can handle the stress seeing your child compete puts on you.

There are three things parents can do to make their child's introduction to youth sports a positive experience:(1) look for a program that emphasizes skill development over winning; (2) look for sports activities your child will enjoy; and (3) ask whether your under-12 child needs to participate in competitive sports at all.

It is no easy task to be a parent of a young athlete. Hard enough are the tasks of helping the child learn how to handle the ups and downs of competition. But perhaps most challenging are the demands on your own coping skills - learning how to manage emotions that are repeatedly tested under trying conditions. A common problem is that your love of your child may lead you to behave in ways that ultimately hurt the child

Sports psychologist Shane Murphy identifies six major problems in youth
sports that need to be addressed.